“Seek first to understand. Then to be understood.” – Steven Covey
Back in the day … one of my business mentors spoke the above quote to me.
At the time I had no idea who Steven Covey was. And at the time I totally did not read like I do now, so therefore had no idea this quote was from the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and is Habit #5.
If you’ve read this book you know it’s rooted in the story about listening. And how most of us don’t.
And that most of us listen with the intent to reply. Not to understand.
If you’ve been following my blog, you know I write a lot about the power of listening. And through my Improv training have learned that listening is the #1 tool to success on the stage … and in life.
I want to dig a little deeper. Into the first part of Habit #5. To seek first to UNDERSTAND.
I think everything in life really stems from this.
From the POWER of really understanding.
How many times have we pretended like we understood what someone is saying or explaining, so we don’t look dumb … or embarass ourselves … or disrupt a meeting?!
I know you have been there. I have.
And this is a bad habit that only hurts yourself. It could also end up hurting your reputation and your business.
If you don’t seek first to understand … then you DON’T understand.
And if you don’t understand … then how can you help? How can you produce results? How can you contribute? How can you add value? How can you do anything really?
There is a great technique to solve this problem. Ask Why? 5 times if you can …
Now … I know asking why may be a favorite technique of your three year old to drive you freaking crazy, but it could teach you a valuable Six Sigma quality lesson.
An easy example of the 5 why’s looks like this:
Problem Statement: You are on your way home from work and your car stops in the middle of the road.
1. Why did your car stop?
– Because it ran out of gas.
2. Why did it run out of gas?
– Because I didn’t buy any gas on my way to school.
3. Why didn’t you buy any gas this morning?
– Because I didn’t have enough money.
4. Why didn’t you have enough money?
– Because I lost it all last night playing poker.
5. Why did you lose your money in last night’s poker game?
– Because I’m not very good at “bluffing” when I don’t have a good hand
See how it drills it down? Right the the root of the problem and something you can take action on! (Like teaching this person to be a better “bluffer” so they stack more chips at the poker table.)
You can totally use the 5 why’s in business and in life to quickly get to the bottom of something … it’s a pretty sweet strategy.
And sometimes it doesn’t even take 5 whys.
The bottom line here is … we have to understand first. It’s critical. And you are only hurting yourself if you pretend to understand when you really don’t.
So get to the bottom of it and maybe the “5 why” technique will help you?
I look at this every day so I don’t forget … set up a reminder in your space too!
What do you do in life and/or business to make sure you fully understand?
PS – if you want to dig even deeper into this concept, I highly recommend one of my favorite books: “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek.
HOLLA BACK! I’d love to hear from you in the comments below …
Be Well. Be Inspired!
Judi
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What do you do in life and/or business to make sure you fully understand?
PS – if you want to dig even deeper into this concept, I highly recommend one of my favorite books: “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek.
