“The only way to get what you really want … is to let go of what you don’t” – Iyanla Vanzant
So the other day I went out for a run. I was cruising along at a good pace and about 3 minutes in to my run I passed a woman on a walk.
Right as I passed her she started to run … so for a few seconds we were pacing side by side.
As I made headway and got ahead of her … I found my thoughts continuing to think of her behind me.
“How far back is she?” “I can’t let her catch me.” “Is she on my tail?” “Does my booty look huge in these new run pants?”
So in my head. And not on my run anymore.
For about 5 whole minutes instead of enjoying the run and the beautiful lake right in front of me, I was obsessing over things behind me.
It got me thinking … “How much damage does it really do when we constantly obsess over what is behind us rather than moving on?”
Boom … Inspiration right there on the Chicago Lakefront!
For realz … It’s critical that we move forward and not let ourselves get caught up in the past.
Constantly holding yourself, or someone else, hostage to the past will destroy you. And only you.
I’ve had several major things, way bigger than a girl on a run behind me, in my life where I had to stop obsessing and being so pissed off over what happened in my past and just move on.
And doing that has allowed me to live the life I now live. I am no longer a hostage to that anger. I am free. I am living my best life.
Here are a few things I know for sure about letting go –
- It’s Not Easy – Trust me, I know from experience. It’s like being in battle. You have to fight everyday to move on. Struggle is a part of life … and it’s how you deal with it that opens the door to your best life. You must fight the resistance every day.
- Empathy Helps – For me, trying to understand WHY something happened really gave me a sense of peace. We are all human beings. There is no such thing as perfect. It does not mean you have to accept what happened or continue to have it in your life. But it can help you move on. The goal here is YOUR freedom. Not theirs. That is up to them.
- It’s exhausting if you don’t – It’s downright painful to be angry and mad all the time. And it’s exhausting to everyone around you. Let it go already. You must. Because if not … you are no better than what is holding you back.
- Patience is critical – it doesn’t happen overnight. My pain, my past and my anger took years and lots of good therapy to get over. And I’m still not 100% there. But I’m light years ahead of where I was. So make a plan and get started.
- Being a Victim is annoying – No one is handing out purple hearts because your story is worse than somebody else’s. We all are fighting our own battles. Defining yourself only by your pain can and will push people away.
- Anger isn’t sexy – It’s straight up ugly to be angry, resentful, controlling and mean. If those were themes in your past, think of this every time you start to feel this way. Break the cycle. Be better than your past. Be beautiful.
- It Feels Good to be Free – Ah … sweet freedom! Once you have let go you are no longer a prisoner to your past. You are free. To think about the future. To live in the present. To write your OWN story. There is no better feeling that the open road in front of you. Now kick it in to high gear and keep on driving.
What have you learned about letting go?
Be well. Be Inspired!
Judi
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