Judi Holler | Personal Branding Speaker And Performance Coach - What You Need To Know About Introverts!

August 12, 2013

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

I attended a conference last week in the ATL. The opening keynote speaker was Susan Cain, the author of “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.”

Her talk totally got my attention.

Here’s why.

So many people have NO CLUE the real difference between introverts and extroverts.

Let’s take me for example.

99.99999% of the time people assume I’m a die hard extrovert.

And I can’t blame them for assuming. I’m social, happy, have tons of energy, travel a lot and am always speaking, filming or talking to someone new.

But actually … I’m a bit more of an Introvert than people think. A “moderate” introvert to be exact.

Honestly, before I really knew the difference between the two, I even assumed I was a full blown extrovert myself. But I’m not. I’ve just gotten really good and “faking” being an extrovert all the time. Because I always assumed that’s what society wanted me to be.

Extroverted Judi. Full of energy Judi. Always “on” Judi.

For real ….

I prefer solitude. I love to work alone. I enjoy silence. I hate talking on the phone. I prefer deeper one-on-one / small group conversations as opposed to large group discussions. I could stay in an entire weekend and DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING (ah bliss!). I get re-charged when I’m alone to think, write and just be.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love to be social … to hang with my friends and family … however … what really charges me up is my downtime, my quiet place, my Judi zone.

So after hearing Susan speak, it felt good to come out. To “own” my Introversion. My silent swagger. My introverted awesomeness.

And it feels good to know who I am … because that means I can honor what I need.

It got me thinking … Could making an “assumption” about who someone really is backfire on us? And how can knowing if someone is an introvert or extrovert effect how we communicate with them?

Say your client is a major Introvert … rolling out the red carpet with a 20 person welcome in the lobby upon arrival isn’t the smartest idea. And packing their schedule with ZERO downtime, for them to recharge and regroup, could lose you the business.

This post is meant to get you thinking. To encourage you to stop making assumptions.

I highly recommend reading Susan’s book, click here to order. “She introduces us to successful introverts–from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a “pretend extrovert.”

To get you thinking … here are some main differences between the two:

Introverts –

Definition: An introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people.

Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, writing, exploring their thoughts and feelings.
They tend to avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills.
After being with people for any length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to “recharge.”
When introverts want to be alone, it is not a sign of depression. It means that they either need to regain their energy from being around people or that they simply want the time to be with their own thoughts.
Being with people, even people they like and are comfortable with, can prevent them from their desire to be quietly introspective.
They prefer conversations that are generally about ideas and concepts, they do not like small talk.

Extroverts –

Definition: Most people believe that an extrovert is a person who is friendly and outgoing. While that may be true, that is not the true meaning of extroversion. Basically, an extrovert is a person who is energized by being around other people. This is the opposite of an introvert who is energized by being alone.

Extroverts tend to “fade” when alone and can easily become bored without other people around.
When given the chance, an extrovert will talk with someone else rather than sit alone and think.
Extroverts tend to think as they speak, unlike introverts who are far more likely to think before they speak.
Extroverts often think best when they are talking. Concepts just don’t seem real to them unless they can talk about them; reflecting on them isn’t enough.
Extroverts enjoy social situations and even seek them out since they enjoy being around people.
They enjoy small talk and are interested in and concerned with the external world.

So, are you an introvert or an extrovert? Take Susan Cain’s quiz by clicking here to help you find out!

Be well. Be Inspired!

Judi

Follow the conversation on Twitter @judiholler or on Facebook by clicking here.

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