“Life is all about choices. And every action has a consequence. Choose wisely.” – Judi Holler
I was really affected this week by a choice someone made that has, in turn, made life quite difficult for not only myself, but a lot of good people. And that’s putting it lightly. Honestly, I’m pretty pissed off.
And what pisses me off the most is that, as our organization worked to “clean up the mess”, the word “mistake” kept coming up.
Things like …
“This person is only human, everyone makes mistakes.” “What kind of world would we live in if we were not allowed the freedom to make mistakes.” “Mistakes are what propels us forward.”
Ok, yes, I agree and champion ALL of the above. I believe with my whole being in the idea of taking risks, making mistakes and not being afraid to fail.
However, what happened in this particular situation this week was NOT a mistake … rather it was a consequence of a bad CHOICE!
Yes, mistakes are inevitable but choices can be controlled.
So I think it is important to set the record straight and make sure we are all clear on the difference between mistakes and choices.
Mistakes – Wikipedia defines a mistake as: “an error caused by a fault: the fault being misjudgment, carelessness, or forgetfulness.”
Examples:
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You run a stop sign because you were not concentrating, a mistake
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You leave a candle burning and start a fire, a mistake.
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You pour salt into your coffee because you think it was sugar, a mistake.
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You forget to charge your laptop and cannot run your presentation because the battery is dead, a mistake.
Choices – Wikipedia defines choice as: “the mental process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them. While a choice can be made between imagined options, often a choice is made between real options, and followed by the corresponding action.”
Examples:
- You smoke cigarettes and now have lung cancer, a choice.
- You rob a liquor store and go to jail, a choice.
- You do not exercise and are now overweight, a choice.
- You don’t floss your teeth and now have 5 cavaties, a choice.
Folks, mistakes and choices are not one in the same.
We all make mistakes and more importantly, we all make bad choices. It’s critical we understand the difference between the two and be willing to call it what it is. Once we do this we can begin the recovery process.
Here are 4 actions to take if you find yourself in a situation where your choice has created bad consequences:
- Take responsibility for your behavior – Own it. Don’t lie or deny. It only makes it worse. You cannot be cured of your issue if you continue to deny it.
- Change your behavior – Words are cheap. We all know the person who says sorry, they’ll change and nothing happens. You must change our mind AND your direction.
- Own up to your guilt – You can cry all you want, but you cannot be cured of your disease if you continue to deny it. The sooner you acknowledge your responsibility, the sooner you can heal and move on.
- Ask for forgiveness – You cannot demand it, nor are are you entitled to it. You can only ask and hope that the persons or people you have sinned against can forgive you.
What are some of your thoughts on choices versus mistakes?
Be Well. Be Inspired!
Judi Holler
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